Who sings in the deepest water in the abandoned lagoon?*
Whose song springs from gravel graves beneath where the sand shoal looms?
Whose tune pitches and pains through the octaves of sea-worn remains?
Whose melody echoes and courses across time-spent sand grains?
This baseless lament rises from the water herself,
A plaintiff cry, a stone-sharp intake of breath,
She mourns for the memories of a time she was freed,
A Consort resplendent and clothed in moss weed.
She pines for the mangroves that once lined her shores,
The sea grass that waved as her glory roared,
Of the red throat and velvet that flashed in their fall,
As she turns she recalls the black terns that called.
She grieves for neon flashes that once filled her reef,
Brief movements inside her, the life she conceived,
Schools of silver-streaked bream and tilapia dreams,
Living jewels that adorned her in regency green.
TIL the suffocating death of the oestrogen tide swept in,
Reaping her effulgent belly and oiling her lapis-skin,
Dressed in ragged robes of plastic that drowned every and each breath,
And danced it’s slow and twisted tango to the knell of her death.
So, desolate and alone she sings still her saline-song,
With no-one to witness nor hear, but the carrion call
Of the visitor pausing to pick through waste for a bone,
Bereft and abandoned, our lagoon is alone.
“Brief: This weeks DVerse Tuesday Poetics Prompt hosted by Laura was to answer a question from one of Pablo Neruda’s “Book of Questions” I chose the line that started this verse *‘Who sings in the deepest water in the abandoned lagoon?’
“Insight; The prompt made me wonder why a lagoon would be abandoned and by whom? As a wild swimmer, I swim in our rivers, lakes and seas, I see more plastic and less life, more decompose and less compose, so the ‘saline song’ is the sadness of our seas whose life is lost to all that human-unkindness brings.
“Expression 
You have excelled yourself with this – I like how you begin with some more questions after Neruda and then carry all the emotions of mourning for what once was through the waters – especially love the second verse and this line struck
“Schools of silver-streaked bream and tilapia dreams,”
thank you for joining in – Neruda’s question struck the right chord for a wild water swimmer
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Who else could sing in an abandoned lagoon but the sea herself? Thank you for posing such an inspiring prompt and for your lovely feedback x
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I really love how you turned this song into a lament, and you manage to put us, humanity as both the perpetrator and the victim… how much we hurt ourselves hurting the life with our neon-plastic dreams.
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Thank you Björn, it was a challenge to keep it poetic and not full of waste, and you are right we are both victim and perpetrator…maybe we can be saviour too?
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Gorgeous. The dirge here is truly mourning the death of our waters.
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I like the use of sibilance to emphasise the sadness of the saline song, Catherine-Jayne, and the barrage of questions in the opening stanza, with some wonderful alliteration: ‘gravel graves’ and ‘pitches and pains’. I also love the personification of the lagoon, and the way that she pines for the mangroves, sea grass and birds, and grieves for the fish. I wanted to save her from the ‘suffocating death of the oestrogen tide’ and those ‘ragged robes of plastic’.
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I wanted to save her too, thank you for such a lovely comment., it makes the word-crafting and challenge worthwhile when welcomed x
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I love this! You packed it full of metaphor and other figurative language in a creative way, used questions well, and even rhymed. Good job! 😀
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Thank you! The prompt was inspiring x
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I like your first stanza of meticulously crafted questions to match the original. The aching grief dear lagoon cries with is painful to read as it is a reflection of realilty that we face as humans that are killing our Mother Gaia.
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I do find the poems about something painful and real the hardest to write without losing the poetry so thank you for your encouragement. ‘Plastic’ is not an easy or pretty word to play with!
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Tons of plastic refuse per nautical mile, man has given the ocean a respiratory disease. I liked the several questions you posed. I did the same, but then fell in love with the inquiring
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I really liked your image of the lagoon itself being the source of a sad song. Very touching, and very well written. I had considered address this question, but I couldn’t get the 50’s B-movie image of the creature from the black lagoon out of my mind.
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Thank you Rob, I appreciate your kind feedback … and am chuckling at the creature from the black lagoon!
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A rich tapestry of words, sounds and images. I felt the desolation and isolation in the end. A gem to read to night. Thank you for linking up with dVerse.
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Thank you Grace, the question itself set the style but it was a real challenge for me and so glad you enjoyed x
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I love this saline song with all its lovely words and phrases. Esp was struck with “oiling her lapis-skin” as it made me think of oil slicks. Really wonderful work here and in other poems I looked at on your link.
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Thank you George, so glad you enjoyed as I enjoyed creating it to share x
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A wonderful lament for how much we have heedlessly destroyed. Vivid imagery. (K)
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And we continue to do so, perhaps the tide will turn?! X
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Let’s hope so.
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Gorgeous poem even in its horror, the long lines tidal and packed with lovely & ruinous sea-finery. She is a noble queen of nothing, a deva of shores whose augment was throttled by waste-plastics. So sad & alone for our wanton disregard. Thanks for rubbing her salt in our wound with such care & craft.
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Such a beautiful response and so pleased you totally understood what I was hoping to convey! Thank you x
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This is what I get for being so late in posting – how do I say anything fresh and useful in response to this poem? I shall have to fall back on gratitude for writing about this intensely painful grievous subject with such delicate beauty and precision we are able to read it and not look away. Thank you, I hope this finds a huge audience – I would love to post it on my facebook page if you give permission.
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Christine thank you kindly for your genuine and supportive comments, I really appreciate it. Please feel free to share and let me have the post once you have 🙂 I’m on Facebook by my full married name Catherine Thomas-Humphreys please feel free to find me x
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Thank you! https://www.facebook.com/christine.irving.5264
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Well done! I really like the way you personified the ocean itself, letting the lagoon cry out, with no one who will listen. Beautiful!
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